Cluster
by Dark Phoenix Rising
Summary: Roman and Deniz are back from their road trip. This takes place during episode 1267 and will take a different view on events after Roman leaves in order to meet Deniz at the ice rink for dress rehearsal. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

This takes place during episode 1267. The course of action is the same as we know it until Roman leaves the flat in order to meet up with Deniz's at the Steinkamp Zentrum. From then on, the story takes a different turn.

As I already said in the group: I'll base what happens to Roman on what really happened to a friend of mine two years ago. It was a pretty shock to another friend of mine and me when that friend told only the two of us about it, the aftermath was an even bigger shock. The whole incident turned our world pretty much upside down for a while.

Anyway, here it is. It would be nice if you left a review and please, keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue! Thanks! : )

Let me know if you want me to continue this!

**CLUSTER**

**Prologue**

"What are you up to?" Florian asked, forgetting the dishes in his hands for the moment, and watched how Roman was gathering his things busily. To him it didn't make much sense that his brother, who had just been in from the road trip, was already about to head out of the door again. So much about: take things easy, rest… His mind instantly returned to the moment, not too long ago, where he had entered the flat and had found his brother on the ground, looking dead. He shuddered just at this thought and the dream he had in the morning.

"Dress rehearsal," Roman replied, as if it was the most obvious thing a man whose time was running out would do at this very moment.

"You only just got back…," Flo reminded him but Roman was busy gathering even more clothes and packing them into his bag.

"Yes, but I really have to go," his brother sighed and went on packing quickly as if the devil was already standing behind him and would snatch him away any second. "Deniz is waiting at the ice rink. He's going to record my performance."

"But we're going to ride rollercoasters tomorrow, just so we're clear!" Florian said determined and made clear that he would take no "No!" for an answer.

Looking up from packing, Roman met his gaze. "Yes, got it. Rollercoaster rides until we need a doctor," he agreed and zipped his bag. "First one to give up, pays!" he added and didn't see his brother smiling happily. His blue eyes darted through the room, his mind going through an invisible check list. Did he pack everything? Deniz had the music and camera… He should have everything he needed. Roman's eyes fell on Florian again, who was busy washing the dishes once more. A small smile appeared on the corner of his mouth and unconsciously, he took every tiny bit of the apartment in. This was the home he had always dreamed of, Deniz and Flo the family he had always wanted… His haven. Shaking his head at those sentimental thoughts, he put his jacket on and went over to hug Florian goodbye. "I'll see you later," he almost whispered and went to get his bag from the sofa.

"Yeah, and don't forget," Florian replied, making Roman stop at the open door, "cold air makes your balls shrink!"

"Haha!" Roman made with a roll of his eyes whereas Florian was still laughing on the inside after he had long closed the door behind him. He couldn't tell what, but something made him stop at the stairs and look back, smiling for whatever reason about this more than stupid comment from his little brother. Only able to shake his head, Roman went down the stairs and was just about to head for the Zentrum as his cellphone rang. Was he already late and Deniz was once more freaking out about him not being there on time? His hands searched blindly for the phone while his feet were quickly heading down the street. "I'm almost there, Deniz!" he said without having checked upon the caller-ID and froze on the spot as he realized that it was not Deniz on the other side of the phone. "Hi…," Roman said pretty much confused, and began to frown as he listened to what the caller was telling him. "Uhm, why?" he demanded to know and listened again. "All right… Bye…" Letting his arm sink, he stared blindly ahead of him. He didn't even notice how fast his heart had begun to beat against his ribcage or that he had begun to quiver. Lost, his eyes began to search for something, for what, he couldn't tell, but forgotten were the Zentrum or the practice. Like a robot he headed over to the next cab and got in, telling the driver in a monotonous voice the destination.

**Chapter 1**

He was getting restless. Again, Deniz checked his phone, checked his watch, checked the door to the ice rink, began to pace just to begin the whole procedure from the beginning. Roman was long overdue. He had wanted to get his things from the apartment, had told him he would meet him in fifteen minutes, maybe twenty here at the ice rink… At twenty-five minutes Deniz had tried to stay calm, at thirty he had begun to sweat, at thirty-five he had checked his phone for messages or calls, at forty he had begun to pace, trying to brush off the gut feeling he had.

His mind went instantly back to their road trip. How many pills had Roman taken on their drive back? He had suffered a very bad attack in the car, had even started to freeze so much that Deniz had borrowed him his jacket, so what if he had collapsed? What if he had another attack? What if… The thought alone sent shivers down his spine. Not thinking twice he forgot about the equipment and ran to the locker room, almost hitting his own head with the door because he opened it too quickly in panic. "Roman?" Deniz asked, a tad too loud for the empty room, the panic clearly audible in his shaky voice and his eyes began to search for what wasn't there. "Scheiße…," he whispered, the panic turning into naked fear. His hand reached for the phone, his finger blindly pressed speed dial while he stormed up the stairs, nearly running into a woman that was on her way down. He had no time for any excuses, by now he couldn't even breathe as fast as his lungs demanded.

"_Hello, this is Roman Wild's voicemail. Please leave a message after the beep."_

"Scheiße!" Deniz cursed louder this time and rather stumbled than ran up the last five steps, nearly fell to the ground as he reached the upper level and his eyes immediately began to scan the floor.

"Is everything all right?" Constanze asked and gave him a concerned look.

"Did you see Roman?" he asked in return, once more muttering curses under his breath as she shook her head no. He stormed out of the Zentrum, looked up and down the street, ran towards No.7 and went inside, ran back outside and checked his phone once more. No calls, no messages…

"Deniz?" Marian asked behind him and made his son startle as he put a hand to this one's shoulder. A look into his son's eyes was enough to know that something was wrong, terribly wrong. He hadn't seen him this shaken up once. Not even as he had believed to be infected with HIV had he been this shaken up and scared to death. "Deniz,…did something happen?"

"Roman… Did you see him?" Deniz stuttered and Marian was only waiting for him to drop to the ground as hard as Deniz was breathing.

"No… I didn't even know you were already back from the trip," Marian replied and tried to figure out what could have happened that had left Deniz in such a state of sheer panic. "Deniz…?"

"I've to find him…," he heard his son muttering and before he could ask, Deniz was already running towards his home and disappeared inside.

"What's going on?" Marian wondered and began to frown even deeper as Deniz was suddenly back on the outside, searching, looking up and down the street, then running into the opposite direction as if the devil was behind him. Even though he didn't know what exactly had happened, he was convinced that whatever it was it confirmed his suspicion that something was wrong with Roman. The way Deniz and he had behaved in the past days, how sudden Deniz had moved back in with Roman, the constant daydreaming and worried looks his son was giving Roman lately, the road trip and the weird way Roman had told him to keep an eye on Florian… Whatever their secret was it was bad enough to make Deniz freak out about Roman's disappearance… Unsure of what he could do he decided to go on tidying up, to wait for any news and if necessary to help out. With a last look into the direction Deniz had disappeared in Marian tended to his work again. Not knowing that things would get shaken up even more…

**Chapter 2**

He had spent the whole evening and half of the night on searching every inch of the Siedlung for Roman. He had called all of their friends, had made up excuses why he needed to find him, had even called the police and hospitals, had asked cab drivers and random people on the street, had nearly been bashed by some homophobes after being so desperate and showing them the picture of Roman and him on his phone, asking, if they had seen him, hoping that they had… Hell, he'd haven even endured every beating and insult as long as they had an answer…

The police had told him they couldn't help him since Roman wasn't missing for more than 24 hours, so looking for someone, a grownup man even, was pointless right now. The hospitals had told him that no one with that name was a patient at the moment. The cab drivers hadn't seen him either… Neither had any of those random people on the streets, neither had their friends…

So he had went to the lake and looked for Roman, went to every spot, used every route they usually took, be it for jogging, be it for hanging out, be it for going for a walk. Hell, he had even gone to every bar and disco they had visited together, thinking that maybe Roman had wanted to… To do what?

Running a hand through his damp hair, Deniz froze on the spot. Like a lost child he stood in the middle of the dark and empty Siedlung, looking for someone that was simply gone… If that was what being without Roman felt like, he didn't want it, he dreaded it, loathed feeling so…lonely, empty and incomplete… Confused and desperate, he turned and simply looked around without seeing anything for real, still hoped to find what he was looking for. Why would Roman do this, he began to wonder and shuffled into the direction of their…his home, sat down on the stairs and simply began to cry silently into his hands.

The questions began to repeat over and over in his mind. Why would Roman do this? Why would he just disappear? Why didn't he say something? Why hadn't he noticed anything? Had there been any signs? Had Roman planned this all along? Had he maybe hoped to die at the beach? Had he disappeared because he knew it was over? He had asked him, hadn't he? He had become suspicious after Roman had said good-bye to Marian and Florian in such a weird, final way… Especially, after he had demanded that they stopped by at the Loft…

Sniffing, Deniz let his hand sink and heaved deep breaths. Had this been his plan all along? In case he didn't die at the beach? To just leave and die somewhere else? Or even worse…to end it himself? How many pills had Roman taken again? He had taken the pills with him, hadn't he? What if… Shaking his head to make this thought go away, Deniz finally got up. Knowing that it was useless, he still took his phone and stared blankly at the display. No messages… No calls…

Like a robot he searched for his keys and went inside, walked up the stairs as if someone else was controlling him and entered the dark apartment next. Why hadn't he at least said good-bye? Why had he told him to meet him at the ice rink just to disappear? What was he supposed to tell Florian? What if Roman was lying somewhere? Cold, wet due to the rain, frozen… He had wanted to be there for him at that moment… He hadn't wanted him to be alone…

Suppressing another sob, Deniz dropped his keys and jacket carelessly to the ground and took the dark apartment in. The apartment was usually so warm, so inviting, so friendly, but now it was the complete opposite to him. It was cold, it was dark and lonely, it didn't feel complete or like home… It wasn't home to him, it would never be home to him anymore, if Roman wasn't here. It wasn't his home, it was _their_ home. What was he supposed to do without Roman anyway…?

Forcing himself to look away, he made his way to the bedroom. He wouldn't sleep in their bed tonight, he probably couldn't sleep in their bed ever again. He'd just slip inside, get a pillow and the duvet and sleep on the couch. But who was he kidding? He wouldn't be able to sleep. He would lie awake all night, thinking, hoping, praying, begging every higher being to send Roman back to him, to send him back with a plausible explanation, to just let him know where Roman was, to let him see Roman again…

With a shaky hand he opened the door and contemplated whether or not to switch on the lights, did it anyway out of habit and was already reaching out to take the duvet, as something caught his eyes and his heart skipped a beat, his brain trying to understand what it actually was, but when it did, he thought he would drop to the ground as his legs nearly gave way. "Roman…," Deniz gasped in shock and had to sit down because otherwise he would have definitely fallen, and his eyes simply looked at what lay in front of him on the bed, motionless and staring blankly ahead.

TBC (if you want!)


	2. Chapter 2

**The following chapters can be found here. Up to now there are 7:**

http:(slash slash) deroaa(dot)wordpress(dot)com(slash)


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